One of my favorite parts of keeping bees is an old European tradition called “The Telling of the Bees.” The gist is that when you care for bees, you have to keep them updated on current events relevant to them—most importantly, deaths and whether there will be a new caretaker.

I used to give them updates on world events and complain about our idiotic political leaders, but I realized it stressed both me and the bees out. I really don’t think they like being bothered with that kind of BS. If my bees could speak English, I imagine they’d say something like: “You guys are a bunch of dumbasses. We bees have a perfect societal setup, and we don’t understand why you humans can’t get your shit together the way we do. Please stop complaining to us and figure it out.” Bees are pragmatic and candid like that.

Anyway, I tell my bees all kinds of things, but I’ve noticed they especially enjoy updates on the lives of people in my sphere. I tell them how I’m doing, what Patrick has been working on, how my mom is. I tell them what Becky, Brittany, and my other friends are up to. I keep them posted on what Benji is doing in school…sometimes I wonder if my neighbors can hear me yapping and if they think I’m touched.

I also make sure to tell my bees how much I admire and appreciate them every time I leave the hive. If I forget, I go back. Honestly, these bees work harder and smarter than any other creature I’ve observed. They tolerate my sprouting beekeeping skills and teach me new things about nature and plants, so gratitude is the least I can give them. It’s also a form of free therapy for me…so thanks, bees.

So, I invite you to join me in my version of the Telling of the Bees and start talking to any beehive, swarm, or lone pollinator you stumble across.